BOUNDARIES

When you make clear boundaries for yourself and people no longer benefit from your “niceness”, you’re called mean.
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When you know what you do and don’t want and you say what you mean without hesitation, you’re called Aggressive.
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When you decide to put yourself, your mental health, your wants, your needs, and your desires before other people, you’re called selfish.
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As a former pushover who has decided to create healthy boundaries for myself when dealing with people, I’ve been getting called all 3 of the things quite often. The first few times I was shocked, but now I get it. People can’t handle when the “pushover” creates boundaries for themselves, but have no problem setting boundaries for you or no problem crossing you repeatedly.
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I say all this to say thank you because it’s an indication that I’m evolving into the woman that I’m supposed to be and not the little girl that EVERYONE benefited from because I wanted to ensure that I was always “NICE”.
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What was nice? 1. Not saying how I felt even though I had strong emotions towards a situation and bottling up/internalizing emotions. 2. Allowing others to make decisions for me even when I knew what I really wanted to do. 3. Putting other people before myself even when my mental health took a hit because I just couldn’t let anyone down. 4. Smiling all the time to ensure everyone had a pleasant experience with me, meanwhile I would often get paid dust. Everyone benefited except me.

I finally made the decision to let go of my “nice” title and to start being honest with other people, but more importantly…honest with myself.
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We’re not here to be Nice or to be mean. We’re here to love, serve God, and to be ourselves and should not get gaslit by labels.
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Have a beautiful blessed day 💕🌸 #lovetiffanyjanise

C U R V E S

“When life gives you curves, flaunt them!” -unknown

Back in April I was invited to be apart of a very special campaign called “Nashville Curves” where the creator selects four local curvy women every year to be highlighted on the platform! I was so honored to be apart of the campaign and as we all know Nashville, Tn is definitely on the rise and that includes our curvy community! Every year Melissa Watkins has a stunning swimsuit photo shoot along with an online interview to showcase the women selected (including herself). The women range from stylists, to models, to bloggers, to event planners, etc. and is a way for us to tell everyone about what it is we do and to grow in our fields. Summer may be coming to an end, but the Nashville Curves campaign will be posted on her site, facebook, and Instagram year round. I will leave the link below and I encourage you to not only review the Nashville Curves class of 2019 but also the classes prior to ours to learn more about the phenomenal women In our community! Click on the link below to visit Melissa’s fabulous blog site & while you’re there be sure to search for NASHVILLE CURVES to read all of our profiles!

Love,

Tiffany Janise

http://www.fabglance.com

Blossom🌸

“Bloom where you are planted” -Mary Engelbreit

     I remember when I was in high school show choir and I remember always being put in the front row on stage during performances because I was a very strong performer. I also remember one of my peers getting highly upset because she was always placed further back, so she asked our teacher why she never got put on the front row. His reply was “bloom where you are planted!” When he told her that my jaw dropped! In my young mind that was so unfair to tell her to just deal with it knowing she wouldn’t be visible to some of the audience. Eventually there came a time where he rotated performers and she was now in the front while I was placed a little further back, but there was a difference between us. Once she was on front row, she started to give a little more effort into her performance than she did when she was farther back. Me on the other hand…I was still performing just as strong in the back as I was when I was up front and I still got recognized for my powerful stage presence. I didn’t let my position on stage determine how good or bad I was going to perform because my passion was in performing not positioning and it still worked out in my favor.

    Sometimes in life we get discouraged with our position because we’re not front and centered, “visible”, or we feel as if our efforts go unnoticed publicly. That doesn’t give us permission to do less because believe it or not someone is ALWAYS watching you. You never know when life will re-position you and everything you’ve been molding in the dark will get to see the light of day. Never stop evolving and blooming just because you aren’t where you think you should be. If you’re spiritual like myself then you will understand that everything has it’s time. Life can be complicated especially when you have goals you want to achieve with little to no resources, but we have to use the little bit that we do have to get where we want to be.

     One thing my peer didn’t realize is that even though I was placed in the front often, I started off in the back on the very back row, forced to work my way up to the front. Same goes for the individuals we see getting all the “attention”. There’s no reason to be jealous or feel some type of way…instead be inspired and continue to blossom. Life is a revolving door and right now you may be in the dirt trying your hardest to bud but please keep pushing because before you know it, re-positioning will happen and it will be your time to shine.

Love,

Tiffany Janise

MODEL PHOTOGRAPHY BY: PATRICK WEBSTER

FIND HIM ON INSTAGRAM @photography_by_patrick_webster

FIND HIM ON FB: PATRICK WEBSTER PHOTOGRAPHY

MY IG: @LOVETIFFANYJANISE

MY FB: TIFFANY JANISE

IT’S OK TO NOT BE OKAY!

“Negative thoughts are like birds. You can’t stop them from flying over your head, but you can stop them from nesting there.” -Pastor Jim Frease

             Those are some of the most fruitful words I have ever heard in my life, and they still resonate with me to this day. We live in a social media era where we are encouraged to portray perfection in every single area of our lives. When is this going to stop? This has literally got to be one of the most problematic eras in history to me personally and I’ll tell you why. IT’S NOT REAL! The internet can only take you so far until reality catches up to you and you are forced to faced all the real life issues you’ve been digitally tucking away. The whole point that I’m getting to is how damaging this is to our mental health and how easy it is to skip over the fact that you are not okay due to this generations lack of organic communication. We want everyone to believe that we’ve got our sh*t together so the first thing we do is hide behind the internet vs facing and fixing the issues that could really be bothering/damaging us. It is your human right to sit down, back away from everything, and self evaluate before you self destruct. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you have to ghost society to get yourself under control. I understand that life doesn’t stop for anyone, but if you don’t take a second for yourself then there won’t be a life for you to go on with. Untreated mental health issues are the reason the suicide rate is so high right now, and if life and death are not important enough for you to stop and self assess then I don’t know what is. In the words of Ms. Ariana Grande “F*ck a fake smile!” I’ve had enough and if I’m not okay I’m no longer faking it and I encourage you to own your situations. Whether you’ve been raped, divorced, abused, depressed, anxious, etc. own it. Acknowledge that these things have hurt you and hindered you in the past, but just like that bird mentioned in the beginning of this message DON’T ALLOW IT TO NEST THERE.

I didn’t realize that I was suffering from my own clinically diagnosed mental health issue, but thanks to me seeking help I was able to figure out why I was behaving the way I was and why I responded to situations the way I did. The internet is a gift and a curse and I say that because the same web that can break people apart is the same web that brings a lot of hurt people together. Like I said earlier…It’s ok to not be ok BUT IT’S NOT OK TO STAY THERE. Eventually you are going to have to continue on with your life and if you seek proper healing, you won’t have to do it alone. Reach out to people and let them know how you’re feeling. Tell those same people that you have always been there for that it is now your turn to cry on a shoulder. Tell them that it’s your turn to vent and be hugged until the pain dissolves just like you did for them in their time of need. Most issues are caused from harboring so many negative emotions without ever having proper release and that is extremely toxic in itself. Below I’m going to list 6 things that have helped me release and I hope that at least one of them will be helpful to you on your journey.

1. Meditation-This is my favorite thing to do daily especially since I can get very anxious at times. If you do not know how to meditate please look it up because I am not a professional and do not want to put out false information; However, this has been one of the most effective methods to calm my depression and anxiety. Meditating gives you almost like an outer body experience and it allows you to think clearly.
2. Nature- I know most of us are suffering from allergies right now (lol) but when you’re not sniffling and sneezing I think you should take yourself for a good walk in the park. It sounds cheesy but take some time out to look at the clouds or to smell a lake and just listen to the birds sing. You can literally feel yourself becoming one with the earth which you came from. Go feed the ducks or something haha! Just make sure to get out the house.
3. Process of elimination-I know you guys remember learning this in school and the same rules apply in life. GET RID OF ANY AND EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T MEAN YOU ANY GOOD! Stop trying to repaint the people who hurt you and are probably the reason you are drowning in so much despair. I know it’s hard when family or a loved one is involved but blood and “love” should not be an excuse to keep allowing someone to mentally drain you. I have a very forgiving nature so this one is so hard for me because in my mind I want everything to be peaches and roses. I find it hard to believe that someone would be trying to hurt me on purpose, but I had to wake up and realize everyone doesn’t mean well and you should too.
4. Find a Hobby- There’s a quote on the internet that states you should find 3 hobbies you love… One to keep you in shape, one to make you money, and one to be creative. This is self explanatory because if you’re busy working on your hobby then you can’t tune in to the things that don’t really matter. You’ll be too busy doing something you absolutely love.
5. Prayer-I don’t care how spiritual I get or how many Instagram religions populate, I will ALWAYS go to my secret place and pray to the lord for guidance. Prayer is your direct connection to the most high and once you talk to God be ready to see some revelations. I do wrong, I sin a lot but I will not let that stop me from talking to my heavenly father. I pray at the head of my day and throughout my day. I love talking to God and I always ask God to heal my thoughts and my perception.
6. Therapy- I always encourage talking to a professional because they have studied the brain and they can give you insight on how to handle situations that can cause you to snap, crackle, and pop. I went in doubting that they could help me, and I was shocked at how they explained to me my position in most of my confrontations. They may recommend medication to you and that is totally up to you if you decide to take it. I don’t recommend it because some people say some medications can make you feel even more suicidal than before. That doesn’t make sense to me plus I didn’t like how spaced out it made me feel. I am not a professional, I’m just telling you what did and didn’t work for ME.

 

When it comes to mental health and mental healing you have to take your time, research, and find something that works for you. You are not alone and I pray that you don’t allow life’s hiccups to keep you in a state of frustration. I know you hear this often but it reigns true…. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Love,

Tiffany Janise

 

[National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255(available 24 hours a day)]

SPECIAL THANKS TO C.C. IMAGES FOR MY PHOTOS AND ALSO STYLES BOUTIQUE FOR MY SHAGGY TOP!!

FIND THEM ON INSTAGRAM! @C.C.IMAGES @STYLESBOUTIQUE615 AND ME OF COURSE @LOVETIFFANYJANISE

BLACK FRIDAY

Friday November 19, 2018 is the day I decided to dye my hair black. What happened to me afterwards was nothing short of a nightmare and pure chaos that could have totally been avoided. Here’s a short breakdown of what I went through.

      I remember it was TSU’s homecoming weekend and I was preparing for my Friday night festivities and I thought to myself how cute and posh I would look with jet black hair. I went to my local Walgreens and searched for a box of the Revlon Natural blue black hair dye, but once I started scanning the dye selection I decided that I wanted something much darker. I searched for a Jet Black hair dye that they didn’t have so I settled with “black”. I purchased 3 boxes of the black Revlon hair dye, I went home, and I immediately started applying the dye to my real hair and to my 3/4 wig unit. That was mistake #1 because the instructions clearly stated to do a patch test before applying hair dye, but because I was in a rush and I’ve dyed my hair natural blue black before I figured I was totally fine. I rinsed the hair dye out and continued to style my hair as usual, but because it took me a long time to do my hair I ended up missing my Friday festivities. I wrapped my hair up for the night and went to bed. Saturday came and I went out and enjoyed myself with absolutely no problem. SUNDAY! Sunday ironically is the day when all hell broke loose. I was waking up mid Sunday afternoon to try to go to a plus sized model call so I got up, showered and did my hair, and started doing my makeup. Once I got to my face I noticed my face had a couple of random bumps and a long scratch on my cheek. I thought to myself  maybe I scratched myself while I was asleep or something. I ended up missing the model call so I came back home and got comfortable on the couch as usual and all of a sudden I felt a sting in the top of my head. It started off very small and about an hour later I was screaming because the pain was so intense. I hopped into the shower and got my hair wet to try to relieve the pain but that didn’t work at all. By Monday morning I was looking at a face full of tiny itchy bumps all over my face and starting forming on my lips. On Tuesday night I went to bed and woke up on Wednesday morning with swollen lips, a sore closing throat, and swollen eyes.  I went to work and began to feel ill and that’s when I started researching hair dye allergic reactions and everything came to the light. I was having an allergic reaction to an ingredient in black hair dyes and black henna called PPD or Paraphenylenediamine and as I went scrolling looking up images and reactions I could tell that this could turn fatal if left untreated. I left work and went to the emergency room and explained to them what had happened and the doctor prescribed me steroids for swelling but he didn’t realize I was having breakouts that required an antibiotic as well due to open sores on my neck and ears. I took the steroids for about 5 days and things got worse. My scalp started to leak a yellowish red fluid and the back of my neck began to swell so big that it was leaking fluid as well. My skin texture changed from smooth to almost reptile looking skin and it was so irritated and leaky. My lips even suffered throughout this ordeal. My lips began to swell up and had tiny bumps on them like the ones on my face and it got so bad that I could barely eat because my mouth was to raw to open up for food. I had to chop my food up into little pieces just to get it into my mouth and even then once I put food inside my mouth the seasoning would burn the open wounds on my lips. I knew this was getting out of hand so I went back to the ER on Sunday before fashion show rehearsal and the DR came in and looked at my neck, my lips, my ears, and my leaky scalp, and he immediately ordered the nurse to give me 2 shots in the butt. One was a steroid shot and one was an antibiotic shot. The steroid shot hurt but not too bad, but that antibiotic shot was a pain I can’t even describe. It literally had me in tears crying like a baby and my nurse tried to warn me but nothing can prepare you for that intense burn. Before I got out of there the DR let me know I was going to be put on 5 total medications in order to heal me because at this point the hair dye was eating through my skin and if the infection spread it could’ve been deadly. My final diagnosis was contact dermatitis and skin cellulitis. I went to work on Monday and tried to finish off my day but I was too swollen and red so I had to ask my supervisor if I could leave and also take the next 2 days off to heal because it got so bad that I couldn’t even lay my head down without feeling pain and I had to keep my neck wrapped up with paper towels so the leak wouldn’t get onto my clothes. I washed my hair one final time with apple cider vinegar and water to neutralize the hair dye on my scalp and help the healing process and to get rid of the leaky flakes that built up over the course of the reaction. SMH

         All of this could’ve been avoided had I did the patch test and took my time instead of trying to rush and do my hair. I finally did heal and it took me about 2 weeks to get back to normal but my whole purpose in writing this is to save someone from a headache or even worse….death. Hair dyes and chemicals should always be left to professionals and if you are going to do it at home PLEASE FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS. I will place a few images below just to show you guys how my face went from bad to worse and hopefully these images will make you think twice before playing around carelessly with chemicals.

MY 5 MEDICATIONS INCLUDED:

1.HYDROXYZINE

2.CEPHALEXIN

3.PREDNISONE

4.SULFAMETHOXAZOLE

5.MUPIROCIN OINTMENT

Thanks for taking your time out and reading this. Next time I write it’ll be something more light hearted and fun but I had to spread awareness as I am starting to see more reaction stories surface. Its only right that I share mine. Take care of yourself people.

Love,

Tiffany Janise

HAIR SCENTS

It’s 2018 people and extensions are no longer a secret! They are worn by all people of all races in both high and low places. I know some cancer patients wear wigs to cover up hair loss from the harsh side effects of chemotherapy while a lot of black women wear weaves and wigs as a protective style to keep from having to expose our real hair to damaging heat. Most women that have more of a silk textured hair type wear extensions and wigs for added length but for all of us it’s not a necessity. Whatever your reason may be I’m assuming that we can all agree that all hair is not created or distributed equally. I know I’m not the only person that has gotten their hands on a “bad batch” of weave and wondered to myself “What on Earth is that corn chip smell?” I installed the hair anyways after a simple wash and condition and that smell still lingered. Not only did it linger but I noticed my skin started having a reaction to whatever chemical was on the hair. One day I got desperate and started to do my research to fix this madness because I knew that I wasn’t 100% done with weave yet even though the odds were working against me. It’s been many years since I’ve been using these methods so I thought I’d share them to save someone else from the embarrassment. Here are my top 5 tips to keep you from being labeled “The corn chip queen”. Enjoy!

1. DRY SHAMPOO- This is a very quick fix in fighting odors and it’s also one of my favorite methods because not only does it make your hair smell better but it removes oil build ups and adds volume (y’all know I love big hair). Most people apply dry shampoo to their hair before styling but I prefer to use it afterwards especially if I use heat on my hair. My personal favorite Dry Shampoo brand is the Dove coconut lime scent (Kroger)! All I do is spray a little after I style my hair and it lasts for about an hour or two so if I’m going to be out longer than expected I just toss it in my purse and bring it with me.
2. GO HEATLESS- Velcro rollers, flexi-rods, ribbon curlers, etc. the options are unlimited! I noticed that when I curled my hair with heatless methods, I avoided the burnt corn chip smell but still achieved beautiful full voluminous curls. I usually rod my hair the night before and take my hair down early in the morning to enjoy fresh bouncy curls the next day.
3. HAIR PERFUME-Yes! There is perfume available for your hair and it smells absolutely yummy. One of my favorites is the Pacifica perfumed hair and body mist. This is recommended over spraying your hair with regular perfume because perfume contains harsh alcohols which can cause breakage. The hair perfumes are more oil based and natural so they are more protective and moisturizing.
4. DOWNY- I know this sounds very intimidating but it is the most effective. What you’ll need to do is purchase your favorite brand of liquid downy fabric softener. My favorite scent is the Botanical Mist Downy Infusions. Get a large plastic zip lock bag and put your hair(removed extensions) into the bag, put the bag under the faucet for literally 2 seconds, and then pour 2 tops full of downy into the water and the hair. After you have everything in the same bag, zip the bag up and mix the downy and water into the hair from the outside of the bag and let it sit for at least 1 hour..2 hours max. Once the time is up make sure to RINSE IT OUT shampoo and deep condition the hair as usual but this last step is critical…MAKE SURE YOU DRY THE HAIR COMPLETELY WITH A BLOW DRYER! Do not allow the hair to air dry because the downy scent will not lock into the hair properly. This method is for Virgin and human hair I do not think it’s safe to use heat on synthetic extensions. I also DO NOT recommend using this method on your real hair! I know this sounds bizarre but trust me whenever I use downy on my hair I get compliments on how good my hair smells and It makes the hair so soft and it styles better to me. This trick also stopped me from breaking out…I noticed it stripped whatever chemical was causing me to have a reaction. Don’t knock it until you try it.
5. LEVEL UP- “You get what you pay for” I know we’ve heard this phrase a million times over but it’s true! Whenever I experienced that funny smell it was usually from local or not so popular hair companies. Once I started saving my money and purchasing better hair from better hair companies (Kendra’s Hair Boutique) I noticed that the quality of the hair was so much better and I didn’t have to worry about that disgusting smell. Thank God that I’m experienced enough now that no matter where I order hair from I know how to tackle that scent because I have definitely had my share of corn chip smelling hair! Be sure to always research the company that you’re ordering from and take your time. Sometimes it may mean spending extra money but I personally would rather spend more coins than to experience break outs and embarrassing comments from my peers. The choice is yours.

I hope this helps you guys and remember you are not alone! If you need additional help feel free to contact me via FB or IG! ttyl

Love,

Tiffany Janise

Mission Accomplished

It wasn’t until I was nine that I noticed I had a big behind

Soon to follow bee sting breast developed upon my chest 

I’ve always been a bigger girl so I’m not new to this full figured world 

I got teased by friends for being fat in my face and behind my back

I tried a few unsafe methods to cope because I was slowly but surely giving up hope 

What type of single life is this to live if I only have a broke heart and pounds to give

All it took for for me to get into my feelings and get depressed was to see a too expensive or too little dress

And for the life of me I couldn’t understand just why in the hell I couldn’t keep a man

I tried so hard to keep giving my all but still in and out of love with me they’d fall

So naturally it was my size and weight that I would wake up to and begin to hate 

If this was how I had to spend the rest of my life then I wanted to end it all rather it be by gun or by knife 

So I continued living my lonely life in the night I really got tired of fighting this fight

I couldn’t figure out just where I belonged all my friendships kept crumbling and my family was gone 

I’m sick and tired of trying to be pure and be right when some folks are living dead wrong and their lives still seemed to be going right 

Then I remembered that comparison is the thief of joy and if I wanted to smile again I had to really want joy

Not because of what the people on social media pretended to have, I had to really desire to be happy…I had to want to live and laugh

I made a conscious decision to stop crumbling and falling and focused on getting back up….I had to make a vow to myself to protect my energy and those who were out of line were going to have to back up

When you change your thinking, you can change your life that’s what I’ve always been told…even though I had the resources I didn’t want to use them, I understood I just wasn’t sold.

I didn’t think just a thought whether negative or positive could manifest your next destination

If someone would have explained this to me when I was younger I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even want to have this conversation.

But with age comes wisdom and now I open my heart to let constructive criticism in

It didn’t take long for me to understand and now a new journey begins

Its a journey called “for the love of self” and yes I’m the only star on this set.

I can now look at myself in the mirror, scream out “I love you” and really, truly mean it.

So continue to have doubt and make judgmental remarks about me cause I promise you I won’t listen.

A small part of my destiny is fulfilled. It was never about pleasing any of you, SELF LOVE WAS ALWAYS MY MISSION. 

 

Love, 

Tiffany Janise 

 

Photography by: C.C. Images

Outfit by: Babes and Felines

Earrings by: Styles Boutique

What The FENTY?! #Uncensored

If it wasn’t enough that FENTY BEAUTY dropped the absolute best foundation this year with a whopping forty shades of awesomeness, they later released their Galaxy Collection (limited edition) which was every glitter childs dream come true! After the Galaxy Collection launched I thought for sure that they weren’t going to release anymore products until after New Years Day at least, but boy was I wrong! I remember randomly scrolling down my instagram feed on November 9th and seeing FENTY BEAUTY post the lipstick for the very first time. My pupils instantly dilated and I knew for a fact that on the launch date (11.23.17) that I would be one of the first people to get my hands on that tube of lip paint! On Thanksgiving day at 1:00PM I drove to Rivergate Mall and stood in line at JCPennys for 30 minutes until the doors opened at 2:00PM so that I could rush down to Sephora and be the first to purchase this brand new lipstick. People were pushing and shoving each other inside of JCPenny so they could get the black Friday deals on Air Fryer and Bed Room sets but my heart was set on only one location…SEPHORA! I made it around the crowd and to my surprise there were only three other customers there just casually browsing around the makeup section. I finally sighed with relief knowing I would actually get to purchase my lipstick in peace and not fight with overly frantic shoppers! I almost didn’t purchase the lipstick because I tried the tester on with a disposable applicator and it looked hideous on me! I later found out that if the lipstick isn’t applied with the hourglass shaped applicator then it may go on a little funky and it won’t dry down properly so please save yourself the hassle and just purchase the lipstick. Trust me! I’ll show you why below.

 

• The Packaging- Nail polished shaped glass tube with an hour glass applicator for precision! Trust me it’s PRECISE! 
• Initial Application-Goes on extremely smooth, slightly watery, and very bright. The brightness is intimidating at first, but it gets better I promise!!
• After it dries- Once this lip paint dries the color is slightly darker but still beautiful as ever! Here’s a show and tell photo if you don’t believe me 💋
• Overall thoughts/ratings/pricing- Ill honestly give this lipstick a solid 9. It goes on smooth, it dries but it’s not cracky and peeling like other brands, and it definitely bleeds but even after the bleeding it’s still fully applied to the lips. It’s extremely lightweight like it literally feels like you’re not wearing anything on your lips! The cost is most definitely well worth it after the taxes you’ll end up paying about $27.00 no more than that! Hope this mini review helps anyone that’s been indecisive about purchasing this product! I personally say GO FOR IT! Enjoy 💋💄                      Love, Tiffany Janise

I’ve arrived.

Life…

The invisible roller coaster that holds our past, present, and future together. It’s filled with highs lows unexpected twists and turns, moments of being completely upside down, and even times when you find yourself going backwards. Your brain is filled with excitement and even though you’re enjoying this ride there’s one thing that’s inevitable…you know that eventually you’ll have to get off of this ride. Life is the exact same way! We’re constantly enduring the twists, the turns, being upside down, and unexpectedly going backwards. While all of this chaos is happening around us we still find the time to think about when will it all be over, and even though the end factor may not be something to dwell on it’s most definitely a friendly reminder to be in the moment and to enjoy life in its entirety. Once I stopped and realized how precious time is and how much of it has already came and gone, I committed to myself that if I’m going to be on this ride then I was going to enjoy every second going forward. No matter what trials and tribulations may come my way…I’m going to learn to LIVE and LOVE with my hands held high in the air while keeping my heart wide open! Lastly I promised myself and God that no matter what I do going forward I would try to always do it with love.

Love,

Tiffany Janise