IT’S OK TO NOT BE OKAY!

“Negative thoughts are like birds. You can’t stop them from flying over your head, but you can stop them from nesting there.” -Pastor Jim Frease

             Those are some of the most fruitful words I have ever heard in my life, and they still resonate with me to this day. We live in a social media era where we are encouraged to portray perfection in every single area of our lives. When is this going to stop? This has literally got to be one of the most problematic eras in history to me personally and I’ll tell you why. IT’S NOT REAL! The internet can only take you so far until reality catches up to you and you are forced to faced all the real life issues you’ve been digitally tucking away. The whole point that I’m getting to is how damaging this is to our mental health and how easy it is to skip over the fact that you are not okay due to this generations lack of organic communication. We want everyone to believe that we’ve got our sh*t together so the first thing we do is hide behind the internet vs facing and fixing the issues that could really be bothering/damaging us. It is your human right to sit down, back away from everything, and self evaluate before you self destruct. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you have to ghost society to get yourself under control. I understand that life doesn’t stop for anyone, but if you don’t take a second for yourself then there won’t be a life for you to go on with. Untreated mental health issues are the reason the suicide rate is so high right now, and if life and death are not important enough for you to stop and self assess then I don’t know what is. In the words of Ms. Ariana Grande “F*ck a fake smile!” I’ve had enough and if I’m not okay I’m no longer faking it and I encourage you to own your situations. Whether you’ve been raped, divorced, abused, depressed, anxious, etc. own it. Acknowledge that these things have hurt you and hindered you in the past, but just like that bird mentioned in the beginning of this message DON’T ALLOW IT TO NEST THERE.

I didn’t realize that I was suffering from my own clinically diagnosed mental health issue, but thanks to me seeking help I was able to figure out why I was behaving the way I was and why I responded to situations the way I did. The internet is a gift and a curse and I say that because the same web that can break people apart is the same web that brings a lot of hurt people together. Like I said earlier…It’s ok to not be ok BUT IT’S NOT OK TO STAY THERE. Eventually you are going to have to continue on with your life and if you seek proper healing, you won’t have to do it alone. Reach out to people and let them know how you’re feeling. Tell those same people that you have always been there for that it is now your turn to cry on a shoulder. Tell them that it’s your turn to vent and be hugged until the pain dissolves just like you did for them in their time of need. Most issues are caused from harboring so many negative emotions without ever having proper release and that is extremely toxic in itself. Below I’m going to list 6 things that have helped me release and I hope that at least one of them will be helpful to you on your journey.

1. Meditation-This is my favorite thing to do daily especially since I can get very anxious at times. If you do not know how to meditate please look it up because I am not a professional and do not want to put out false information; However, this has been one of the most effective methods to calm my depression and anxiety. Meditating gives you almost like an outer body experience and it allows you to think clearly.
2. Nature- I know most of us are suffering from allergies right now (lol) but when you’re not sniffling and sneezing I think you should take yourself for a good walk in the park. It sounds cheesy but take some time out to look at the clouds or to smell a lake and just listen to the birds sing. You can literally feel yourself becoming one with the earth which you came from. Go feed the ducks or something haha! Just make sure to get out the house.
3. Process of elimination-I know you guys remember learning this in school and the same rules apply in life. GET RID OF ANY AND EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T MEAN YOU ANY GOOD! Stop trying to repaint the people who hurt you and are probably the reason you are drowning in so much despair. I know it’s hard when family or a loved one is involved but blood and “love” should not be an excuse to keep allowing someone to mentally drain you. I have a very forgiving nature so this one is so hard for me because in my mind I want everything to be peaches and roses. I find it hard to believe that someone would be trying to hurt me on purpose, but I had to wake up and realize everyone doesn’t mean well and you should too.
4. Find a Hobby- There’s a quote on the internet that states you should find 3 hobbies you love… One to keep you in shape, one to make you money, and one to be creative. This is self explanatory because if you’re busy working on your hobby then you can’t tune in to the things that don’t really matter. You’ll be too busy doing something you absolutely love.
5. Prayer-I don’t care how spiritual I get or how many Instagram religions populate, I will ALWAYS go to my secret place and pray to the lord for guidance. Prayer is your direct connection to the most high and once you talk to God be ready to see some revelations. I do wrong, I sin a lot but I will not let that stop me from talking to my heavenly father. I pray at the head of my day and throughout my day. I love talking to God and I always ask God to heal my thoughts and my perception.
6. Therapy- I always encourage talking to a professional because they have studied the brain and they can give you insight on how to handle situations that can cause you to snap, crackle, and pop. I went in doubting that they could help me, and I was shocked at how they explained to me my position in most of my confrontations. They may recommend medication to you and that is totally up to you if you decide to take it. I don’t recommend it because some people say some medications can make you feel even more suicidal than before. That doesn’t make sense to me plus I didn’t like how spaced out it made me feel. I am not a professional, I’m just telling you what did and didn’t work for ME.

 

When it comes to mental health and mental healing you have to take your time, research, and find something that works for you. You are not alone and I pray that you don’t allow life’s hiccups to keep you in a state of frustration. I know you hear this often but it reigns true…. THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Love,

Tiffany Janise

 

[National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255(available 24 hours a day)]

SPECIAL THANKS TO C.C. IMAGES FOR MY PHOTOS AND ALSO STYLES BOUTIQUE FOR MY SHAGGY TOP!!

FIND THEM ON INSTAGRAM! @C.C.IMAGES @STYLESBOUTIQUE615 AND ME OF COURSE @LOVETIFFANYJANISE