It wasn’t until I was nine that I noticed I had a big behind
Soon to follow bee sting breast developed upon my chest
I’ve always been a bigger girl so I’m not new to this full figured world
I got teased by friends for being fat in my face and behind my back
I tried a few unsafe methods to cope because I was slowly but surely giving up hope
What type of single life is this to live if I only have a broke heart and pounds to give
All it took for for me to get into my feelings and get depressed was to see a too expensive or too little dress
And for the life of me I couldn’t understand just why in the hell I couldn’t keep a man
I tried so hard to keep giving my all but still in and out of love with me they’d fall
So naturally it was my size and weight that I would wake up to and begin to hate
If this was how I had to spend the rest of my life then I wanted to end it all rather it be by gun or by knife
So I continued living my lonely life in the night I really got tired of fighting this fight
I couldn’t figure out just where I belonged all my friendships kept crumbling and my family was gone
I’m sick and tired of trying to be pure and be right when some folks are living dead wrong and their lives still seemed to be going right
Then I remembered that comparison is the thief of joy and if I wanted to smile again I had to really want joy
Not because of what the people on social media pretended to have, I had to really desire to be happy…I had to want to live and laugh
I made a conscious decision to stop crumbling and falling and focused on getting back up….I had to make a vow to myself to protect my energy and those who were out of line were going to have to back up
When you change your thinking, you can change your life that’s what I’ve always been told…even though I had the resources I didn’t want to use them, I understood I just wasn’t sold.
I didn’t think just a thought whether negative or positive could manifest your next destination
If someone would have explained this to me when I was younger I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even want to have this conversation.
But with age comes wisdom and now I open my heart to let constructive criticism in
It didn’t take long for me to understand and now a new journey begins
Its a journey called “for the love of self” and yes I’m the only star on this set.
I can now look at myself in the mirror, scream out “I love you” and really, truly mean it.
So continue to have doubt and make judgmental remarks about me cause I promise you I won’t listen.
A small part of my destiny is fulfilled. It was never about pleasing any of you, SELF LOVE WAS ALWAYS MY MISSION.
Photography by: C.C. Images
Outfit by: Babes and Felines
Earrings by: Styles Boutique